She's JV to your varsity
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
True strength comes from lack of pants
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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