Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Randomize
