i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You dont lie about slip and slides
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
So apparently I’m into choking now
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
