It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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