so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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