what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
