i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
