broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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