is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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