the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
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