Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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