Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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