why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I would fuck him just for his dog
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
