it wasn't lemon gatorade
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
The air taste purple.
Randomize
