I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
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