His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
