Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
