I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize