He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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