Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Randomize
