All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize