I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
