if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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