Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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