Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
