every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
