this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize