Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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