I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Randomize
