i was born a porn star she said
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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