there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize