remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
