It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
