matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
how do flat chested girls get laid?
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
