somebody snuck up and got me drunk
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Randomize
