I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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