This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
3pm strippers are depressing
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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