If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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