it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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