he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize