Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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