I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
