what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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