yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
