your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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