small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
