She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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