I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
