But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
