honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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