i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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