He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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