lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
