Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
