just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
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