I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize