you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
