The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
