areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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