And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
