I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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