so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
