She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
