You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
