I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
