I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
