Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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