quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
