Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
