They should really pass out barf bags in church
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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