apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
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