The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toyâ€
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