would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
