No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
