Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
