Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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