I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
