She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
