So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
