My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
My balls are so social today.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
