don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Vodka?
Forever.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
