I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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