u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
