I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
