do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
