plz talk dirty to me
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
