"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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