I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
