Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
